I am the best mama for my children.

That’s the mantra I keep silently repeating in my head when things get tough. When I lose my cool. Which happens more times than I’d like to admit.

As I am writing this, my daughter has been interrupting me four times so far. Four times, my thoughts have been ripped away from the sentences I am trying to form on here. My nerves already agitated from trying to drown out my husband’s loud voice while he’s on a conference call and my son’s screechy shouts of delight as he bounces his balloon in my office. Four times, trying to re-focus to get out words that will live up to these sweet, sweet photos of him.

Twice, I was able to respond calmly. Not the other two times.

I like to parent from a place of empathy. In an ideal world, I am able to listen calmly to my children. To take a moment to understand their feelings and where they are coming from. To then respond with kindness and patience, to soothe and comfort, to motivate, or to just be there. In an ideal world, I am not triggered by their emotions. I don’t rush to fix things, I am not interrupting my kids to offer my jaded life advice.

Sometimes, when I am having a hard time responding in a kind way, I imagine how I would react if a friend of mine was upset. Tears in her eyes, voice trembling with pain or disappointment. What would I do to make her feel better? How would I approach her to show her I am here for her?

L.R. Knost has been a huge and positive influence on my parenting style. With few words, she is able to provide so much insight into the world of Gentle Parenting. I highly recommend her books.

The fact that I have to envision another adult in my child’s position to not lose my sh*#@t is very telling of how I was brought up in a society that believes children are less worthy of respect and empathy. Simply because they are children. Just like we can set gentle boundaries with our friends, we can do so with our kids.

So, in a minute or two, I will simmer down that raging volcano called ego inside of me and apologize to her. I will ask her forgiveness for not meeting the standards I ask of her on a daily basis. And just as she will accept my apology, I will give her grace next time she can’t live up to them.

They truly are the best children for me.

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In-Home session in Davie, Florida