featuring Anna & Philippe’s wedding photos

The days after being abroad for a few months feel strange. I have to check my calendar to get myself orientated within the Mon- and Tues- and Wednesdays. The ‘To do’s” and what not to… I could blame jetlag, the brutal change in the weather and temperature. Maybe the point of this time is to not know. To be drifting through these days like a piece of old wood, heavy with moss and soaked up water, bobbing up and down, going with the flow of the river beneath it. Not knowing where the journey is going. Letting go of expectations and intentions. It’s freeing in a way, though terrifying for me.

I left part of my soul, my heart there. Where they are safe until my return. I filled their space with memories of the woods, the smell of wet leaves, melancholic bird songs. Dark greens and golden light. The understated sophistication of historic buildings and old cities. Stories between cracked walls and rain on cobblestones. When I close my eyes, I am there.

I let go of all the “must haves’ and ‘shoulds’. I am craving realness. Utter vulnerability. True joy that speaks and laughs from the heart. Tears that bring forward the innermost devastation and hurt. Honesty, ragged and refreshing. Hugs, given to heal. Love, so powerful, quiet and naive at the same time. Connection that goes beyond smiles, and words spoken. Pure and full of trust, respect, and tolerance. Friendships without labels, agendas.

Willing to dig with my bare hands down to the roots of humanity. To rest myself in wholeness and compassion.